Mother I Sober歌詞

[00:00.000] 作詞 : Craig Balmoris
[00:01.000] 作曲 : Craig Balmoris
[00:13.57]I'm sensitive, I feel everything, I feel everybody
[00:17.53]One man standin' on 2 words, heal everybody
[00:20.48]Transformation, then reciprocation, karma must return
[00:23.72]Heal myself, secrets that I hide, buried in these words
[00:27.27]Death threats, ego must die, but I let it purge
[00:30.58]Pacify broken, pieces of me, it was all a blur
[00:34.09]Mother cried, put they hands on her, it was family ties
[00:37.35]I heard it all, I should've grabbed a gun, but I was only five
[00:41.12]I still feel weighin' on my heart, my first tough decision
[00:44.19]In the shadows clingin' to my soul as my only critic
[00:47.79]Where's my faith? Told you I was Christian, but just not today
[00:51.01]I transformed, prayin' to the trees, God is taken shape
[00:54.54]My mothers mother followed me for years in her afterlife
[00:57.99]Starin' at me on back of some buses
[01:00.68]I wake up at night, loved her dearly
[01:02.58]Traded in my tears for a Range Rover
[01:05.31]Transformation, you ain't felt grief 'til you felt it sober
[01:08.67]I wish I was somebody
[01:13.52]Anybody but myself
[01:19.95]Ooh, I wish I was somebody
[01:26.89]Anybody but myself
[01:35.98]I remember lookin' in the mirror knowin' I was gifted
[01:39.30]Only child, me for seven years, everything for Christmas
[01:42.73]Family ties, they accused my cousin
[01:44.82]"Did he touch you Kendrick?"
[01:46.26]Never lied, but no one believed me
[01:48.13]When I said "He didn't", frozen moments, still holdin' on it
[01:51.85]Hard to trust myself, I started rhymin'
[01:53.98]Copin' mechanisms to lift up myself
[01:56.41]Talked to my lawyer, told me not to be so hard on myself
[01:59.67]He has an aurora, I hope to achieve
[02:01.83]If I find some help, congratulations, made it to be famous
[02:05.24]Still I feel uneasy, water watchin', live my life in nature
[02:08.77]Only thing relieves me
[02:10.33]Spirit guide whisper in my ear tell me that she sees me
[02:13.57]"Did he touch you?" I said "No" again, still they didn't believe me
[02:17.05]Mothers brother said he got revenge for my mothers face
[02:20.26]Black and blue, the image of my queen that I can't erase
[02:23.55]'Til this day can't look her in the eyes pain is takin' over
[02:27.32]Blame myself, you never felt guilt 'til you felt it sober
[02:30.63]I wish I was somebody
[02:35.82]Anybody but myself
[02:42.22]Ooh, I wish I was somebody
[02:49.18]Anybody but myself
[02:57.58]I was never high, I was never drunk, out my mind, I need control
[03:02.34]They handed me some smoke, but still I declined, sittin' with myself
[03:07.11]Went through all emotions, no dependents, except for the one
[03:10.88]Let me bring you closer, intoxicated, there's a lustful nature that I failed to mention
[03:15.30]Insecurities that I project, sleepin' with other women
[03:18.58]Whitney's hurt, the pure soul I know I found her in the kitchen
[03:22.02]Askin' God "Where did I lose myself? And can it be forgiven?"
[03:25.28]Broke me down, she looked me in my eyes
[03:27.75]"Is there an addiction?" I said "No", but this time I lied
[03:30.87]I knew I can't fix pure soul, even in her pain
[03:34.45]Know she cared for me, gave me a number
[03:36.90]Said she recommended some therapy
[03:39.18]I asked my momma why she didn't believe me when I told her "No"
[03:42.68]I never knew she was violated in Chicago, I'm sympathetic
[03:47.14]Told me she feared it happened to me, for my protection
[03:50.41]Though it never happened, she wouldn't agree
[03:53.02]Know I'm affected, twenty years later trauma has resurfaced
[03:56.31]Amplified as I write this song, I shiver 'cause I'm nervous
[03:59.86]I was five, questioning myself, 'lone fir many years
[04:02.89]Nothing's wrong, just results on how them questions made me feel
[04:06.66]I made it home, seven years on detour, chasin' manhood
[04:09.99]But Whitney's gone by time you hear this song, she did all she could
[04:13.50]All these women gave me super powers, what I thought I lacked
[04:16.88]I pray our children don't inherit me and my feelings
[04:19.62]I attract a conversation, not bein' addressed in black families
[04:23.50]The devastation hauntin' generations and humanity
[04:27.32]They raped our mother, then they raped our sisters
[04:29.48]Then they made us watch, then made us rape eachother
[04:32.00]Psychotic torture between lives we ain't recovered
[04:35.05]Still livin' as victims in the public's eyes, who pledge allegiance
[04:38.29]Every other brother has been compromised
[04:40.59]I know secrets every other rapper sexually abused
[04:44.38]I see them daily burin' the pain in chains and tattoos
[04:47.67]So listen close before you start to pass judgement on how we move
[04:51.18]Learn how we cope, whenever his uncle had to walk him from school
[04:54.49]His ankle grows deep in misogyny
[04:57.08]This is posttraumatic black families and a sodomy, today is still active
[05:01.57]So I set free myself from all the guilt that I thought I made
[05:04.74]So I set self my mother all the hurt that she titled shame
[05:08.19]So I set fire to my cousin, khaotic for my mothers pain
[05:11.74]I hope Hakeem made you proud, 'cause you ain't die in vein
[05:15.15]So I set fire the power of Whitney, may she heal us all
[05:18.73]So I set free out children, may good karma keep them with God
[05:22.35]So I set free the hearts filled with hatred, keep our bodies sacred
[05:25.45]As I set free all you abusers, this is transformation